I hate not knowing what’s going on with my body.
At least with a normal miscarriage, you bleed, and it’s gone.
Knowing little bean isn’t going to make it, but having a pregnancy inside me feels awful. Now I know, I’m just expecting my body to DO something, like bleed, but for some reason it doesn’t want to let go.
I just keep going to the toilet and checking for blood, but chances are, given the sac measured only 6w4d, then my body has been refusing to miscarry for 5 weeks now, so just by knowing it’s the end, doesn’t make it happen.
Trying to plan some lessons for next week to take my mind off it, but not knowing whether I’ll have to go have sac removed next week, so would then have to re-plan a cover lesson.
If they give me the option, I want it removed surgically so it’s all over and done with. The other option is apparently a tablet that starts the miscarriage, but how on earth am I supposed to carry on teaching, knowing that any minute I’ll be in pain and start to bleed. Nor do I want to sit round at home waiting for it to happen.
Will try and be less morbid at school tomorrow.